Fan Site

Posted on June 21, 2009

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DEAR AMANDA,

First of all, I would like to thank you for making such a wonderful site. “FansofFrankHinton.com” was such a wonderful thing to behold this morning over morning coffee. It is a great 2.0 website and I am excited to see it grow. I will try to answer your questions (which I am assuming are for the FAQ section on your page) as best as possible.

1. My earliest memory is of a pond in the town I was born. It was perhaps the final day of summer and the leaves were green and bold and at the peak of their existence. My mother had taken me to the pond to feed some ducks. At one point, I somehow managed to slip away on my own and found myself in a small thistle of reeds and pussy-willows. I remember pecking around in the grass and I found a small egg, a duck’s egg. I picked it up and examined the thing and I could instantly feel the duckling inside. In the next moment, without reason I hurled the egg into the water as hard as I could. It was not until years later that I realized what I’d done. It fell ploop.

2. I drink only tea, not coffee. No sugar, no honey. Usually rooibus.

3. I have never done anything illegal, but I did steal a heart once and break it. Instead of performing the full dissection, I pocketed a pig’s hear from Mrs.Jolanski’s biology lab and told her my specimen came without one. I took the heart home and placed it in the fridge behind a bag of french fries. When it was well frozen I took it into the woods behind my house and chopped it in half with my father’s hand axe.

4, My daughter’s name is Ottia. We adopted her from South Africa. She is four now and still sucks her thumb. She is afraid of snow, ovens and cars with spoilers.

5. I have not participated in may extreme sports, though I did bungee once. I shit my pants, but luckily the two men operating the jumps were prepared for that.

6. The first story I ever wrote was about the grandson of Carl Jung. He was very spoiled in the story and I think he had a bionic arm. I’m not sure what I was going for there.

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Posted in: June 2009