Too Much Kashi

Posted on May 19, 2009



We arrive home to a mailbox full of bills. My girlfriend indicates that cell phone bill is “too high.” She tells me to call the phone company. I listen to pop music on hold for twenty seven minutes. A woman answers and I tell her there is a problem with my bill. She begins to launch into a number of diatribes on billing. I fill with fear, I am meek- I am not a fighter when it comes to bills. I want to just get it over with, pay the damn thing. Just as I muster up the strength to attack her, Anna snatches the phone from my hand. She begins to scream at the phone company woman. I watch and shrink as she “takes care of it”.

I think: I used to be a lion. A lion. I used to sign cheques for thousands of dollars and yell with spit at politicians. What happened? I wonder. A lot of people talk about what makes a man, but what breaks one? Maybe it’s too much Kashi. Maybe it was all of the yoga. I find myself huddled in the corner as my girlfriend screams into the receiver.
“You just told me you over charged me, so you don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about!” There is silence on the other line. Anna looks at me and smiles.
We get a seven dollar discount.

My grandmother calls. My grandfather has broken his leg. He needs a bath. This has become my weekly duty. To bath a grown man. God did not make me a nurse, but none the less I find myself huddled over a warm tub squeezing soap onto his wrinkled shoulders.
“You’re a man now,” he tells me, looking up with eyes all full of mucus.

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Posted in: May 2009