Posted on March 2, 2009


From my notes.

A letter to Dr.Tim Gautiner, Professor

At times there is a genuine feeling of contempt for the way these cup-bearers act. At the end of the day we are: Doing balancing tricks at a circus with a bunch of lunatics for an audience. Jesus was an illiterate man for God’s sake! Clown: Fuzzy Hal that works over at the new Lawtons, has a funny way to his walking. He thinks- and truly believes- ah, that he’s going to get a promotion any day now. He hands out fliers in the parking lot, ones with real fat chicks turning into skinny ones on the inside (he keeps a scrap book of all his old pamphlets). How could a man on such a ground-swollen rung of the patronage ladder that is Lawtons, afford in his mind even the most remote possibility of promotion? Hal has a toothless mouth! Imagine that, a toothless mouth running your drug store! No- its a circus Tim, plain and simple. I think its because we are born champions- race winners. Blast out we come a small tadpole in a ten million tadpole race, racing toward some mystery on a track we hadn’t even known existed before the moment the propulsion began. As sperm we were just born to swim forth into uncharted territory, weaving in and around an army of competators.  And when we arrived at our destination we just had to force our way in, at least one of us. We are the sole survivors of a sperm holocaust, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to relive whatever the hell happened to cause us victory on that epic first day in our mother’s vaginal caverns. We are lottery winners, all of us- the clan of the survived sperm….so few….it is incalculable the amount of sperm which have died so that we may live…the ratio is almost absurd! Oh the balance of creation and nothingness…it is fragile as a membrane. It is a membrane! I’m so sick of the “my life sucks” argument. Then there’s the Ned Flanders hope of the bible lovers, looking under every rock and tree for a miracle when there is one right inside of them! Sperm Winners! All of us.

Posted in: March 2009